On Race in America

I certainly did not think at the start of this Pandemic I would be writing a blog post on Race. But as I talked with a friend tonight, I shared a few thoughts and she encouraged me to write. So here goes.

Most of us are descendants of outsiders. Immigrant ancestors who came seeking a better life. Some of us have branches on our tree that aren't quite that simple. To be clear, I want to acknowledge off the bat that I am extremely aware of the difference between slavery and immigration. My point is not to diminish slavery but to give people a reference to start from on why we need to be better, especially if slavery is not something in our family tree.

My namesake ancestor came to America at the break of the American Revolution from Scotland. He didn't just hop a boat and settle in to make roots here. He sold himself or was sold as an indentured servant, typically for a term of 7 or 14 years, to someone already on these shores, to work off his passage. Indentured servants were temporary slaves. In my ancestor's case, war broke out and he asked to fight, was allowed to, then was forgiven his indenture at war's end, after serving his new Country. This was not a guarantee and did not happen to all who were indentured in this period. He was a Scot, not an Englishman. He was potentially seen as a lower class citizen, both for that fact and the fact that he had been indentured. In a time where the nation was divided by Loyalist and Patriot as well as by national origin, what is amazing is he married a German woman and they moved and started a family and were founders of a new town in the wilds of "the west" of that time. Many German troops served as mercenaries for the British, although there were several German and Dutch settlers in America during the period who also fought for the American cause. It seems clear from the records that after he resettled, he became a pillar of the community which I hope meant that he left racism behind. But I can't be sure. It is through him I am a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution.

My Italian ancestors are newer to these shores. Italians were often the subjects of racial slurs and seen as second class citizens for many years in this country, as were many southern European immigrants. I can only imagine how their life was and what it was like to be poor and Italian in those early days. Much like a variety of minority immigrants today, racism existed and they likely felt its sting. They pushed their children to Americanize, so much so, that as a child growing up, I had no idea that my grandfather and great-grandparents spoke Italian. We were American. I am sad that racism and the push for assimilation caused much of their personal history and a lot of the connection to Italy to be lost. It is why I tried so hard to reclaim their citizenship when I realized I could.

I share these stores as a link to understanding. Racism has existed for hundreds of years in our Country. America is not the only country suffering this strain, either. But with the knowledge that my family has suffered racism in its past, it creates an understanding or a semblance of it for those who are feeling it now. I am not black or a minority. But that doesn't mean I can't be cognizant of what racism looks like, sounds like and acts like and do my best to quell it. I want to do right by all the people I meet, no matter their race, color or creed. Knowing the past of my family makes me more aware of how to treat those around me.

We need some drastic changes in our country. We need to be better to each other. We need to be less selfish. We need to listen before we pass judgement. We need to gather facts before we share information. We need to retrain some of our first responders to protect and serve before using lethal force. We need a justice system that is working for all people without bias or party influence but by the letter of law. We need leaders who lead by example. We need to be honest, with ourselves and each other. We are better than this. America is better than this. I pray and hope we head in a better direction on each of these actions. We are the example. We don't know who is watching.

The more of us that do these things, the more we will see positive change. Let's move towards a brighter tomorrow. Are you on board?

Quarantine Day 23: Fun Before Work

Recently I posted about a puzzle I was doing. I did the sky first on this particular puzzle because it is my least favorite part to do. The reactions I got were funny! People had never seen puzzling done this way.

Well, I don't normally do puzzles this way. Normally I do the boarder edges like everyone else I know then fill in from there. But my philosophy in life is to get the stuff I want to do the least out of the way and then enjoy myself afterwards.

I have to say, Quarantine is making that motto a bit tougher. Having not "worked" for the first two weeks of Quarantine, I got a bit lazy. I coped by reading and video gaming and puzzling and cooking.  

I would sleep in for an hour or so and then relax. I would then spend my late morning and evening planning for the weeks and grading late work. And completing work for the two courses I am taking (online) at the moment.

I don't think I can get used to this fashion of doing my life. It makes me put off things much longer than I would prefer. Laundry. Don't need to do it yet. Dishes? There aren't many just yet. Mail piling up? All my bills are paid so this is all junk. It'll get cleaned soon.

It is starting to already drive me a bit nuts to be cluttered, so I am likely going to go back to my normal work first play second mentality. It feels so good to have things done and then relax without the on my back!

What about you? Has your life changed in this way since we went on lockdown?

Quarantine Day 18: Balance - the Yin & Yang of Tuesday

I am one of those few fortunate folks who have a group of high school pals that still stay in touch. While not always great at consistent communication, we've been good about checking in on each other. We've had a group message string going since Illinois went on stay-at-home lockdown for The Pandemic. There has been lots of sharing of pictures, kids projects, funny memes and laughable moments. We need a little levity to keep our brains and anxiety from despair in a world turned upside down...or is that outside in?

One of those moments came yesterday. On our Monday Rollcall chat, one of our members wished everyone a, "Happy Tuesday!" It was hilarious. I think my favorite response to that was from one of our Ohio members, which read, "I thought it was tuwednesfriday. It is Marpile 45th, right?" We know just when to throw a funny in the mix to cover for gaffs. BALANCE.

But the friend who thought it was Tuesday gets a break. She is a teacher in higher ed and had wrapped up posting final grades around Midnight the previous evening. Not to mention, adjusting plans for her online course to accommodate students who aren't necessarily used to online courses.

In the midst of my 12 hour work day yesterday, getting plans ready as quick as I can a few days ahead and a last minute change of plans I wanted to implement today, I could totally relate. My word of the day yesterday was: BALANCE.

Unfortunately for my Professor friend, her never-ending Tuesday didn't end well tonight. Her 1898 home with old sewer pipes decided this was the moment to wreck havoc and pour sewage into her basement about ankle-deep. In conversations tonight to help calm her down and find some positivity, the poop puns poured out and it got us laughing. In her words, this was the longest Tuesday of her life. My response was, Oh Crap... BALANCE.

There are times when I am sure people think I spend way too much time online. I admit I do. I know that even when I watch the news at night, I need to be doing something on my phone or computer. This isn't really new for me. Even in high school (or church) I learned that I listen better if I am DOING something. In high school it was writing down song lyrics. In church it might be surfing Twitter. Either way, I am still tuned in. But all this online activity, particularly with the My Peak Challenge fitness subgroups I am a part of, I've had dozens of conversations I could be a part of and people to check in on or have check in on me. It makes such a difference. It boosts morale and enforces positivity.

I hope each of you are finding balance as we go through this new normal. Keep up the social distancing, hand washing and (let's be real) online ordering.

Til the next installment,
KB

Quarantine Day 15: Hours in a Coffee Shop

Since I was a kid I've had a pretty good track record of remembering my dreams. So much so that in my teens, I started to dream stories. I'd go to bed each night remembering where I left off then drift to sleep with the hopes of continuing the story. The stories run the gamut of topics - as a kid they were Star Wars inspired. I've had a lot of historic dreams, since my historic sweet spots are Plantagenet/Tudor England and Revolutionary America.

Over the last year, it has been a modern-day Italian-inspired town. This one started with a dream about a building and detailed island location (this happened before with a detailed, long-lasting story too). But since I've been quarantined, I haven't been able to move the story forward. My main character has been stuck in a packed coffee shop, enjoying a morning pick-me-up with a table strewn with paperwork and a cell phone. Every night as I sleep,  there she sits. Sun shining through the windows.

Maybe its the comfort of the booth she sits in. Maybe it represents some sort of calm space, although the papers in front of her belie that feeling. She seems to be searching for something but also feels purpose and a sense of peace about the search.

I'm taking it as a sign that this is how I should feel. Earlier this week, as tree pollen amped up with Elm and Maple blooming (my worst tree enemies) and the addition of mold, which causes major issues for me each fall, I've felt under the weather. My asthma has kicked up which means a cough and lungs feeling tight. My throat has been dry and I actually sneezed twice this week (I don't ever sneeze, which I know seems weird for someone with severe allergies but my allergies manifest in itchy eyes and immediate sinus infections rather than a sneeze reaction). I'm also allergic to weather. Yeah, it's a thing. It is called a leukotriene reaction and your body can produce an allergic response when the temps vary wildly or pressure changes occur.

When you live with chronic illness, you know your body really, really well. I'm 80% confident that all I'm battling is weather, allergies and asthma. But with the unknowns of covid-19, and the fact that symptoms are so stinking the same, I worry.

I've stopped watching the news except 1-2 half hours each day. I've stayed off social media more, except to participate in the Turn: Washington Spies watch party which wrapped up a review of Season 1 tonight. I've nearly completed a puzzle. And I've upped my Vitamin D and am using my inhalers (yes, plural) on a regular schedule so that I'm doing all I can to stay healthy.

I'm going to head to bed in a bit, and I'll see if my woman in the coffee shop does anything.

Quarantine Day 9: Snow & Survival in Uncertain Times

Day 9
Sunday
March 22

I promised myself I wouldn't work until Monday. But I found myself all day drawn to getting going. I am not a procrastinator by nature, at least about work. So I searched ideas on how to start students back on learning after 2 weeks off while only being accountable online. I have a plan. I'll start putting it "on paper" tomorrow.

I'm still fighting with my dog, who has been dealing with bad allergies since Thanksgiving. He licks his tail raw and today also was licking his paws. The battle is off and on. I've been drugging him with Benadryl plus an ointment on his ears/tail and a salve I found online for hotspots. I'm a believer in herbs/oils so I'm' throwing it all at him. I think he is due for his next allergy shot. Will call the vet tomorrow to see if that is possible still.

I had my first issue with asthma today in over a week. I assume it is because the weather changed drastically overnight. Being allergic to weather change PLUS the trees that are blooming PLUS mold that could creep in when it is wet is likely the cause. I should probably get back on my weather meds that I couldn't get for a few weeks at the pharmacy but now have.

On the sad side of news, I got news this evening of a friend who is in the hospital. She has been since Tuesday, just after I last chatted with her to check in. She is a Senior, but a fit and energized one. For her to say she is weak and tired is a lot. Doctor says it is pneumonia. I don't know what to think. With all else in the air right now this is bad.

If you are reading this & can help, I set up a GoFundMe for her. She still works but with a hospital stay & likely time at home to recover after, she won't have that income to depend on.
I appreciate your donation. She also welcomes prayers, if you are a praying person.

March 16 2020 - Quarantine Day 3

I missed my daily blog yesterday. I tackled one of the deadliest tasks for myself - cleaning the air purifier. Felt like it was needed. Allergies are a bit worse today because of it. But peace of mind prevails!

Today felt like a typical evening or weekend night.

I worked on homework for both of the classes I am taking (IT Fundamentals and an Ed Tech class).
I made a bunch of meals, including some from my new Hello Fresh box!
I played a bit of Civ VI on an advanced level. I'm not very good.

I took long walks with the dogs, despite brief snow and chilly temps. He ate something he shouldn't have so was a bit out of sorts today. But he bounced back around 9pm tonight.

I cleaned. Again.

But I also did a lot of social calls.
I talked to a friend who wakes up later due to medical conditions who inquired if it was safe to get an Egg McMuffin at Mickey D's.
I Facetimed with my parents in Florida who went to final doctor appointments today. It is apparently too hot to take a walk there until dusk. Oh, I wish!

Most importantly I chatted online with Italian friends. People who were to be my roommates (maybe still will, but I am losing optimism) in Scotland in May/June. We walked about Boris Johnson's press conference today. And Nicola Stergeon's press release and how poised it was compared to Johnson. But mostly I heard from them that things are really bad there. Not for them, specifically, but for Italy. One of them expressed her sadness that the rest of the world, the US included, are not taking drastic measures soon enough. Italy was a major lesson in that regard, and they don't want their suffering to have been for naught. Sometimes words can convey deep emotion. That was how it felt today.

So what will tomorrow bring? Hopefully another productive day. A good day.

Be safe.

COVID-19 Quarantine: Day 1

How am I feeling? Optimistic but realistic. I decided this is the time to blog. I want to write my thoughts and track what I see happening through this. So here goes!

I've been watching friends' social media overseas for a few weeks now. The COVID-19 outbreak really started to get chatter in mid-January. We had just wrapped up the holidays, started back on 2nd Semester and for me, I started up a really tough IT Fundamentals course through a nearby Community College.

I got sucked into the Johns Hopkins site that began tracking cases fairly quickly. At the end of January Illinois announced its first case in the town next to me. I felt safe because the patient was in isolation. But as February rolled around, friends in Italy began sharing their experiences and the news started to focus on Northern Italy, South Korea and Japan. It seemed inevitable this virus was going to come at some point in bigger waves.

What I say next is solely my opinion. I am basing it on factual news stories and CDC updates and friends overseas.

But here it is.

The virus was likely here longer. People in China were already sick in December. How many people traveled and saw others before things were really understood? How many people did those people see? How many surfaces were touched by people that spanned the globe over the holidays before we really really started to pay attention and grasped the scope of this virus spread?

I've watched places like N. Italy go from limited activity to full. I've watched people sing from balconies with their neighbors. I was sent a video today of a guy in Spain who was on a rooftop leading workouts and people were on their balconies doing workouts with him.

People are panic-buying. I'm not saying it isn't the right move. But I went two weeks ago. I saw this coming. I should have gotten ALL the stuff I need but I didn't. So now I'm low on proteins (and have just 1 bottle of wine) but that'll be okay. I have food. I have plenty of toilet paper. I have cleansing sprays for surfaces. I have medicine for 2 months. The dog has food enough for at least a month. Not a ton of chewys but those are bonuses (although he doesn't see it that way). I just wish we all were decent enough to think of the people around us. Buying enough to get through a month and then leaving the rest for our neighbors. I am in no way saying I'm perfect. I could have done more to think about the people around me and see if they needed anything. Especially those with kids and who may be older and still working.

But the flip side is, people don't buy all these essentials every week. We never see a week where every household goes to get toilet paper. Maybe every other week (or less). But now we are all doing it and the stores are out. They didn't plan for this either.

This is what amazes me most about what is happening. I saw it coming. Three weeks ago I started thinking about what I would do if school moved to online. I began planning. I have taken online classes and have a sense of what makes me feel successful as a student (As an aside, hey, maybe don't use Wikipedia as your only teaching tool with links that don't work!). I got my allergy shots done and got an extra bottle of allergy meds. I got my taxes done. I printed workouts for the month. I went shopping.

I feel like everything has been reactionary. Which of course it had to be as this came out of nowhere. But we had all of February to plan. I don't see evidence that governments at any level or my local businesses started planning. It was like March ushered in and people still didn't expect it to really begin spiking in Illinois. Then this week BOOM. Now it is real. Now people are reacting.

I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. I was saying it was going to come. I was saying it isn't good. I was saying be careful - weeks ago. I told my students who were making light of it, that this was a serious thing. This week, as even my military kid started to show signs of worry and stress, I continued to preach about washing hands, stay home, you may not feel sick but that they could be a carrier and that they really, really need to stay away from their grandparents or people who had health issues. I played the SiriusXM Instrumental Spa channel in my classes to set the mood and gave rational, scientific answers to their questions.


I have run my diffuser every day. Thieves, Lavender, Tea Tree, Lemon and Orange.

I spent today watching Friends marathons on TV, caught up on The Crown, and watched the news.
I cooked a great pork moo sho taco with red cabbage and radishes.
I walked the dog several times, despite the chilly temperatures today and the light snow. We played several times, too. He can sense these are unusual times. He is smart.
I cleaned a little. There is always cleaning.
I watched Church online. No in-person church with the State mandate.
I went to the store and got some ground meat and pre-made meatballs. It was all that was available.
I played a little bit of Civ VI. I worked on the classes I am taking.

That is just Day 1. A lot more to come, of that I am sure.